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& The Lover                                                                                                                                   & Grief                                       of Justice            of Fire         



Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Last week I was complaining how hot it was...and look now, the world's gone all cold and drizzly and gray. It's the right weather to kill someone and leave their rotting corpse in a monsoon drain. I stood outside my flat on the patio/terrace/walkway/balcony in a freezing drizzle while wearing my brand-new luvverly brown jacket and smoked a cigarette as I watched two men in hooded anoraks stab a passerby and dragged the body into the drain behind the flower bushes. As I did and watched all this in the gray drizzle, I felt a small sense of desolation and composed this poem in my head: A Prayer in the Rain. You can read it in my poetry blog over at the sidebar. --->
I finally did something about Marcus's predicament and sent Fez over to deal with it. He got Marcus out of jail now - how, I would never know, since Fez does not speak. But money speaks volumes and Fez probably brought loads of that with him. Now, if Marcus is wise, he would leave Haiti.
But Marcus is not wise - and he has sent me a telegram saying he will not be leaving Haiti, poor stupid boy. So all I did was send back a telegram telling him to watch out for dark corners and alleyways in which people would try to stab him in the back. He may not die, but he will still feel the pain.

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Blood in the Bathroom.
So, last night it was Moon Von's turn to clean the bathroom. And she was hard at work scrubbing in the bathroom while I lounged on my bed reading while trying to disappear completely into Radiohead's How to Disappear Completely when suddenly Moon Von pops her head into my room, looking distressed.
"Come with me!" she demands and so I leave Radiohead and the love lives of Tobias March and Lavinia Lake and came with her to the bathroom where she shows me thick red liquid seeping from below one of the taps. There is A LOT of red and looks very much like blood.
"That can't be blood," I said, "Look how red it is. If it's blood it should be reddish-brown unless..." I look at her. "Unless it's fresh blood."
Moon Von's eyes get huge and she slaps at me. Until now we don't know what that red liquid is. But we cleaned out the redness and so far there's no more sign of it... unless the next flatmate gets murdered!

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Monday, March 28, 2005

What a surprise.
I just got a long-distance call from Haiti. Never expected to hear from Marcus so soon. Usually he sents a postcard after a few weeks. Never in the first two weeks, always before the first month is over. In that way, Marcus is so predictable.
But apparently Marcus is in jail for stealing diamonds, which is such a weird coincidence seeing that I just spoke about Marcus and diamonds in the same post a few posts earlier. Maybe I am psychic. I mentioned it to him over the phone and he was *not* pleased. Apparently being stuck in a Haitian jail overnight doesn't make you a nicer person.
I told him I didn't know there were diamonds for the stealing in Haiti, since it was such an impoverished country. Apparently that makes things worse, if you steal the only diamonds worth stealing in Haiti. And get caught doing so.
"Why didn't you chew your way out of jail?" I asked.
"Are you crazy? In Haiti? This is the land of the undead. I don't want to reveal anything that'll get me revealed," he snapped back.
"Well, that's your own fault," I say pleasantly.
He snarled a few threats and curses down the phone line at me and then asked me to wire down some bail money.
"I'm a student," I say even more pleasantly. "I don't think I'm equipped with sufficient funds to wire down bail money to a diamond thief in Haiti."
He snarled even more and mentioned something about having my throat the moment he gets out of jail. I promise to try my best to do something and then hung up after wishing him a pleasant stay in Haitian prison. The last I heard is that he's still sitting in the corner of his cell, waiting for the bail money while sniffing a few lines of coke he had somehow smuggled in with. Honestly. If he could smuggle coke into his cell why couldn't he arrange for his own bail money to be smuggled in as well? I don't see why I should do all the work when he's having a ball over there and I'm struggling with work here.
As of this moment, I haven't decided what I'll do yet. I'll decide later this evening.
Stay tuned for the next episode of Marcus's Unfortunate Unlife.

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I'm pissed at my computer. And at the connection. More at the connection. Everytime I try to switch a page it goes bonkers on me and claims I'm working offline. And then I'd have to go and click File and Working Offline before I can use it again. It's annoying. How am I suppose to blog and read Dead Like Me transcripts like this? Lately the world has been against my reading transcripts. Or reading anything for that matter. But for once I intend to lock myself in my room and shut the curtains and read while admiring myself reading in my full-length mirror. There's no time like time for yourself.

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My jewelry box is in a TT. That is, Total Tangle. The Harry Winstons have mated with the Van Cleef and Arpels and it doesn't look like they'll be extricating themselves any time soon.
And before any of you go into a tizzy and try to climb into my room tonight to do a bungle, I have to say I really do wish that it was the Harry Winstons I was trying to undo rather than a bunch of black ribbons and some rusty pseudo-silver necklaces. Oh, to be rich.
All I wish is that I hadn't said no to all those product-of-slave-labour diamond jewelry that Del tried to persuade me to take. I wish Del had been more persuasive. I wish I was more easily persuaded.
I know that Marcus would agree with me - in fact it was he who nearly threw the pear ornament at me when I came home and told him I had rejected Del's jewelry. He had been hoping for a new motorbike and I knew he had had his eye on the smallest diamond necklace. Once I asked him, "Marcus, have you no sentimentality when it comes to friends like me?" But I realized it was useless. When it comes down to Marcus and sentimentality, he has no sentimentality when it concerns getting what he wants. And when it comes down to Marcus and shame, Marcus HAS no shame. And that is why I carved out his fang and why he forgave me for that.
Dear Marcus.

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Happy Easter!
Actually, belated Happy Easter by a couple of hours since it's early Monday morning...
And there were trumpets in church today and my sweet old fat muffin priest gave out chocolates to all the children in the church! Awwwwww....
Went over to my sister's. We watched Nicholas Nickleby (Charlie Hunnam is soooo cute) and then I snuck into the spare bedroom and fell asleep while my dear sister and her boyfriend slaved away making dinner. Then I woke up just in time to walk into the kitchen just as they were done cooking and about to wash up whereupon I walked back out until all the washing up was done. But dinner was good. I can definitely tell you that much.
White Aesop, the Snap Queen, the Casino Burglar and the Pharmacy Girl all showed up for dinner and after dinner the Snap Queen brought out all the good old family cards like Snap, Happy Families and Old Maid. As you can imagine, Snap Queen won every game of Snap except one, which White Aesop won, thanks to all White Aesop's watchful Easter rabbits no doubt. Trust me, Snap Queen is like no other player in Snap! They should put Snap in the Olympics, she could represent our country and win the gold like no other player could. She would bring pride to the nation.
I feel that it's odd that while other parts of the world are approaching Spring this place that I'm in is approaching Autumn, and Winter soon. It's so weird. I'm not used to it. I'm used to Spring coming in March and May! But I can't wait for winter so I can wear all the new winter clothes that I've already bought. By the way, that brings us to another point: I have resolved not to buy ANY clothes in the next two weeks, NO MATTER how much of a bargain they are or how fantastic they are. Not even if it's a Galliano or Nicholas Ghesquiere for Balenciaga gown for only two bucks!
*Pause*. Well, I guess I could make an exception if it was a Galliano. Or a Balenciaga. Or by Ungaro. Aaaaahhhh...

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Thursday, March 24, 2005

Penguin Formations!
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Its monstrously hot today...at least forty celsius or over at max...
SweetRhapsody and the Duchess have gone to their first swing dance/ballroom dancing class and they've been dancing like a pair of loons in the kitchen while we were cooking today. They were demonstrating their swinging steps to me but it looks more like a penguin formation march - hahaha.
Today my sandal strap broke! Sob! But then I saw a rack of Roxy sandals for ten bucks each! It must have been destiny! So now I have cool new white sandals! Yay! And I got a new gorgeous school-girl-ish cute plaid skirt! Yay! And I pulled it out of its plastic-y shopping bag to show everyone at my radio news class and they all loved it - I even caught my tutor sneaking a glimpse at it...hahaha...
I'm playing Toploader's Dancing In the Moonlight...stolen from Curly Pumpkin's CD...it makes me feel like daaancing in the mooooon-lite....
But not penguin formations. You won't see me doing no penguin formations in the moonlight. Only daaaaancing...

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Wednesday, March 23, 2005

We just had lemon meringue pie!
And ScreamingSour just showed me her mountain boy's fat cat splayed all over his bed which is like a HUMONGOUS MONSTER. The cat, I mean, not the bed.
Yes, lots of people have been showing me pictures of their pets posing. Pet models galore. Laundry Dude also showed me a picture of his dog looking as if she was hiking through the woods, which is actually his backyard, lol. She was posing too.
And speaking of pictures! I sent the pic of myself, ScreamingSour and Potatoes killing Clara headlined "Us Killing Clarence" to Potatoes...and this is what she sent back! (headlined: "Us Killing Clarence, Me Burying Him.")

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Hahaha, don't you just feel the loooove coming for Clara?

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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Too much sun, cheese and Australian transvestites.
Yesterday everyone here was in a bad mood - and it could possibly be from too much sun, too much stress, or too little drugs.
LOL.
And everyone was shouting at everyone over five slices of cheese and I was trying to finish my readings before my class with the postgrads tomorrow and steadily losing my mind and finally I lost it and shouted at SweetRhapsody and possibly Flat 8 Girl (hereafter known as the Duchess), I'm not sure if she was in SweetRhapsody's room then, and then I shouted at the Dervish who immediately reverted into a sulking. All that shouting and making people sulky made me feel better. And then I started yakking with ScreamingSour who drew me pictures of stick people and big cheeses and stick me with red hair that made me laugh and then we started talking about finally killing Clara with our pool sticks when we're old ladies and how Clara still owes Potatos money and how Potatoes will be a shylock and cut a pound of flesh and his diaphragma out of him and then ScreamingSour drew another stick picture of us beating poor Clara and a tiny Potatoes dancing around with her knife and poor Clara's blood on it which made me laugh even more:
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I thought that we were stabbing him because that is what we do, but ScreamingSour says, "No, we are *beating* him" and I'm like "Oh, right, we'll beat him and *then* we'll stab him!" She says, "I'll stab him in the front and you'll stab him in the back." "Great," says I, "that way we'll get him in one go!"
This is one conversation we'll always think about the next time Clara innocently gets into a car with all three of us (ScreamingSour, me, and Potatoes).
And I managed to finish my readings while talking to ScreamingSour but could barely remember a thing and finally went to bed and dreamt about a terribly bitchy Australian transvestite who hadn't completely finished his sex-change operation yet and was horribly rude to me, especially even after I had rescued his stupid ballpoint pen, and so I shouted back at him and he was about to run after me and kill me or something so I burst out of the room and down the hallway and that was when I woke up in another bad mood and all sleepy and groggy and five minutes late for my class. And there was NO way I was in a mood to face all these postgrads especially after that dream. So I was like "screw it" and just went back to bed to beat up that transvestite. And now here I am, refreshed, better, and erm, just basically in only a slightly better mood than yesterday.
Hrnnt. I say, what we need are some drugs!!!

UPDATE: I have decided to go out with guys who are my age and nothing else. Hereafter, they must be born between the months of January 1984 and August 1984. If any guy wants anything to do with me he must whip out his birth cert and show me his proof of age. This way, we also get to censure any illegal immigrants as they would not have their proper papers with them. Hahaha!

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Marcus called from transit in Dubai. I told him what's been happening in my life since he left. He says: "I told you so." Grrrr. If he wasn't in Dubai I'd cut off his fangs again.
I'm losing my mind. How am I going to discuss ethics tomorrow with postgrad students? I should go see a university counselor about this.
Today's Words of Wisdom:
Never mind, I forgot what Today's Words of Wisdom were.

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Monday, March 21, 2005

I think I just lost my mind...or maybe I just got too much sun today.
I smoked three cigarettes outside my flat just now...and watched the white wisps of smoke rise towards the sky full of stars... and think...why can't I just leave this world?
And listened to the sounds of those idiots shouting from Flat 11...especially Shuddup going "CHIBAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Like as if he's some chinese or something.
And felt like shouting back, "SHUT UP, I'M CONTEMPLATING!!!!!!!!!!"
Speaking of which, there is a strange boy with curly hair who sits outside the steps near the laundry room smoking. I've seen him at least twice. The last time, I think I told you guys about this in an earlier post, I asked him if he was lost. I suppose he still is. He said hi to me but I was holding kiwis and losing my mind and my contact lenses were blurring and anyway I thought he was saying hi to the guy behind me so I just stared at him and went on up the steps.

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I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.
Today they had movies outside our flats by the gazebo again! And they showed White Chicks, which I'd seen before with the Saturday Night gang, and then they showed Notebook!!!!!!! It was so so so sweet and sad... and as we were lying on the grass, this cat - I'm not sure if it's Simon - comes up to us and I just turn my head and went, "oh my goodness!" because it was standing right next to my face!
Later that night SweetRhapsody, myself and the Little Pony went over to Flat 8 Girl's flat to devour Sara Lee chocolate cake. Mmmm. Sara Lee has the best desserts ever and I'm not ashamed to shamelessly promote her products. Especially the frozen strawberry cheesecake.
Then Marcus came over to say goodbye. He is leaving for Haiti. He has been poring over Haitian guidebooks, tourism websites and my old college Haiti presentation for the past week and has finally made up his mind to go. He is taking my old high school backpack with him, the black one on which I graffittied words like "Korn" and "Fuck" and "Dead" on in white liquid paper and he is leaving on the late night flight. He leaves with the parting words: "Death is always around us." Cheery boy. Always knows what to say. I will miss him but he may be bringing me some voodoo dolls.
That reminds me. The other day I saw some Velvet Revolver music videos and while I have some of their songs on my illegal pirated CD compilations, I've never seen them before. Does the lead singer look like Clark from Christopher Pike's Final Friends trilogy or what? And is he not one of the most anorexic guys you've ever seen? I loved Clark, he was so hot and weird and just completely messed-up fun.
That reminds me. Today we were talking about taking a two day road trip down to wherever. I say wherever because it is as yet undecided where we are going. I suggested Margaret River but others wanted to go to Monkey Mia and then everyone starts yakking about costs and dolphins and 5-and-8 hour trips and now I think if we do go, we would be going to Margaret River. They should always listen to me in the first place but they never do because they're not intelligent enough. It all started with Bones mentioning that the boys might rent a car and drive somewhere for Easter Break and then everyone got drawn into it and plans started being made and then driver's licenses started coming out and then problems started coming up. All even before we've decided where to go. I think I should come up with a betting pool on whether we'll even get as far as the car rental company. That should be a success.


UPDATE: LOL i think that music fans the world over must be shaking their fists at me. I just checked: Velvet Revolver's lead singer is Scott Weiland! Lol, no wonder I wondered why he looked so much like the lead singer of the Stone Temple Pilots! Hahaha! And no wonder all those guys look like the guys from Guns N Roses. I thought Slash's hair looked familiar. My bad.

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The other day, my mother called. And i asked her how grandma was and she said what my sister said. And that the doctors had given up hope for her. They would be taking her to another doctor on wednesday but from the way she spoke on the phone, I think even she has given up hope. I went online and looked up liver cancer. Most people who have it don't survive it - the best chances they have are 16-18 months and that's only in the best cases. And my grandma isn't exactly the healthiest of all people.
I think mom's taking this the hardest of all.
I just have this sort of hard feeling inside of me the whole night. And I went home that night and I just sat down on my bed and I was just going to sleep when I suddenly remembered my grandma's face and then suddenly I couldn't stop crying.
I think I kind of felt that same way... like somehow we all knew this was it, somehow. And it's not fair! It's not fair! She was all right - she was going to be all right, and then suddenly this happens!
And i was just thinking, please don't let her suffer, please don't let her have any pain... please just let her live a little longer without any pain.
And then I flashedback on one of the times when she was trying to force money onto me and I was refusing to take it and she was like "Hrrnnnt! Just take it! I know you're not trying to cheat me, so take it!"
And that was one of the few times she showed how strong minded she can be, and then I just stopped crying, remembering how although she can seem weak on the outside she's pretty strong inside, and that just kind of made me feel better.
And the moment I stopped crying, immediately i heard one of my flatmates fling his door open and walk outside, and a few moments later I hear Moon Von coming out of her room and I stop and think, "Oh. I hope no one heard me crying."
Hahaha...but the walls shouldn't be that thin! But Moon Von came into my room today to borrow something off me and she was just looking at me in this concerned kind of way.
I don't know, I don't really feel like talking about this to anyone. It's like you want to talk about it, but you don't want to as well, you know? I mentioned it to the Curly Pumpkin while we were buying dinner and she just went kind of quiet and I knew she didn't really know what to say and it was a bit awkward, lol, i feel bad for her, because if it was me, I wouldn't know what to say either. And besides what is there to say? I don't even know what I'd want to hear.

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Saturday, March 19, 2005

Mother would love this place!
This morning I just mooched around and ate lots of food and made Moon Von frown upon my lazy ways of cooking and then sat down to finally watch To Catch a Thief, that old movie staring Cary Grant and Grace Kelly. I say finally! because I have been waiting ages to watch this but haven't had any time to what with all these mortals begging at my feet and people to kill and favours to confer.
And it was pretty fun. Did I mention how much I like watching old movies because of the dramatic poses the actors always strike? Like how they throw themselves down on the ground and lie on one side with the hand resting on one thigh or on the ground before them like the way kangaroos and models do (they do! haven't you seen a kangaroo lie on its side before?), or how they stand still for one moment with legs apart and hips thrusted out. It's like that old Ten Commandments movie where Pharaoh tells Moses "Go! Take your people and leave!" And then dramatically turns his head and puts his hand to his forehead. I loved that pose! We still laugh over it, the old Saturday night gang, hehehe.

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The Night of the Indians!
So last night, as I mentioned in one of the my last posts, I went to that Massala Mix thing... full of Indians and I was one of the non-Indians...at first I felt a little conspicuous at first but after that it was all right...because it's just like being in Bangsar hahaha...or being the only non-black while I hung out with Farah and her gang in Waikiki...the Banghra Night thing was supposed to be at Metro but what with all the Vietnamese stabbing one another, the place has closed down for a few months so they changed the venue to Heat...it was pretty fun and I really missed clubbing in Perth! But our night really sucked in the beginning because the guys had this brilliant idea of walking ages to the bus stop, then taking a bus to the busport which is in no way anywhere near Heat, and then they MADE us walk, in our HIGH HEELS, all the way to Heat!!! I haven't finished apologizing to my turquoise Vincci high heels yet. :(
And I spent loads of cash there...first that mind-blowing price for the tickets - and that means I owe the Dervish TEN bucks....Gawd...and all the drinks...I was throwing down cosmopolitans and tequila shots and bourbon cokes down my throat, not to mention that glass of what Shuddup told me was vodka coke but it turned out to be champagne and coke or something (what the hell?!?) and nothing...I need to invest in heavier drinks. I miss my Chivas!
Oh that reminds me of the beginning of the night when we girls got our drinks and were heading over to the wall to lean abck and people watch, and I passed by this cute guy and we checked each other out and he toasted his beer to me and I lifted my cosmo martini glass back to him. It was too bad we lost sight of each other in the crowd. *giggles*
And there was this guy that I met a couple of times before...Muku...I don't know how to spell his name...he is sooo adorable. Not as in hot cute but cute cute, like a bubble of energy. Haha! Like an adorable animal. I wish I could keep him as my pet.

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Friday, March 18, 2005

Is She Really Hungarian???
Oh I forgot. This is really funny. The other night at the tav I was talking to a couple of guys and we were just joking around and I think we were talking about where we were all from so i just said jokingly, "Yeah, I'm from Hungary." LOL, and you know what? They just believed me! Especially the 80s Laundry Guy. I don't know if he REALLY believed me but he believed it enough that when I turned away to talk to Curly Pumpkin's flatmate he went over to Curly Pumpkin and the rest and the first thing he said to them was, "Is she really from Hungary?" And they just kind of pretended innocence and said, "oh, you'll have to ask her that."
LOL! And I thought that was just the end of it...but then today in the radio room, Louise suddenly mentions, "Hey, you know, the other day Brendan asked me if you were Hungarian."
I think I just shrieked with laughter and nearly fell out of my chair! I didn't expect him to still be thinking of that!
And I think Louise just blew my cover! LOL! Because she told him, "Nah, she was probably drunk when she told you that."
Hahaha... but that was really funny...imagine him turning the question over and over in his head: Is she REALLY Hungarian???

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Today I was talking to Marcus about how I loved summer days. And his reply was "Bah, what a bitch of a sauna."
Don't you just looove moody pessimistic guys?
But he's definitely not leaving for Europe anytime soon. He's too bored with the place. Instead he's thinking of going to Haiti.
"Be careful," I warned, "they've got gods like you over there. You won't be anything special."
"That's what'll be fun," he said. "I can intermingle. And I hear they're crazy for sex over there."
"Just don't dress up in black and start talking like a perv," I said, "Or I'll have to stake you when you come back."
That has given him second thoughts.

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Today was probably one of the best classes I had in a long time! We just talked nonstop about fashion and shopping and I think I have probably never contributed more to a class in my entire life! If every class was like this I'll never stop studying.
The other day me, SweetRhapsody and Flat 8 Girl went shopping and went way over our budget. I got this great black tank top, flirty little green skirt, a white hip-length boob tube and this fantastic jacket which makes me long for winter days.
Speaking of the weather! In the last post I talked about the wind but this whole week has been nothing but lovely summer-ish days. My happiness mood has been up on a major level except for the time when my sister called to tell me my grandmother has liver cancer. I was so shocked I couldn't do anything for a moment. If anything happens to her *touch wood* I don't know what I'd do, I think this will probably be the first time such a thing happens to someone I really love. She's been around for so long and even though we barely understand what each other say and she breaks my toilet all the time, we've managed to become really close. I keep thinking, why now? She's got a long way to go! I haven't gotten around to learning Chinese so I can speak with her properly either! And I keep thinking about the time I said goodbye to her before I left this year. I hope nothing bad will happen to her. I just try not to think about it too much because everytime I do I fee... Actually, I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I've never felt like this before. I hope...I trust nothing bad will happen to her.
Tonight SweetRhapsody and Flat 8 Girl are dragging me out to this Massala Mix night. LOL... I didn't really want to go at first because the tickets were sooo expensive. I'll probably sit back in the shadows and drink a lot. :D
And the other day, after shopping, we watched Be Cool. LOVE Uma Thurman's outfits, especially the Mourning and Widow T-shirts! At the end of the movie, Flat 8 Girl turns to us and says, "Doesn't that guy look like a smaller version of The Rock?" And SweetRhapsody and I go, "That IS the Rock!!!"
And the guy that I met the other night at the beach bash has sent me phone messages and e-mails which are doing nothing but make me laugh hysterically - at him. Gawd, somebody is FULL of himself. Who does he think he is, James Bond? I'm not too sure if he is serious or what, but if he is.... I think I'll fall over my chair laughing. I haven't bothered answering yet because I'm still laughing.
Well, off to Flat 11 now to steal their food!

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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The wind outside is very strong tonight. It's tearing at the trees and howling at the windows and generally just...flying free...outside...through the sky...through the world...
She's strong and feeling rebellious tonight, the wind. Even she feels rebellion at times, like a human being.
It's a night for witches to fly wildly through the sky on their broomsticks.
And I'm feeling gloomy inside, like a cavern of darkness deep inside myself.
Who's to say humans aren't made to be broken apart?
She told me we were meant to be alone, and I used to believe her, but then I found myself reaching out to the world again, but sometimes loneliness just catches up with me.
Who's to say we're not meant to live alone in the darkness?
He told me the same thing and I told him we weren't meant to live like that, and that I could show him what it was like to live in the world of people.
And he left. Now I wonder if he regrets it? Does he look back on our time together and then I wonder what he feels?
And sometimes you just feel like throwing your mask down and closing your eyes and holding up your fingers and then maybe the wind can catch hold of your fingers and lift you up and carry you away.
Shut yourself in your coffin and go to sleep a little while.

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Monday, March 14, 2005

Listening to: Skin "Fleshwounds" album.

I forgot to add that over the weekend, I saw some of the most adorable couples ever! I mean, they weren't the type of couples whom you'd look at and roll your eyes and say, "Oh, God, get a room!" They were just...adorable. Just being themselves.
The first was on the bus on the way home from Frio with the Curly Pumpkin, Little Pony, SweetRhapsody and Flat 8 Girl. They were sitting beside me at the back of the bus and although I just dozing in and out and listening to some of the most fun alternative songs ever on the radio, I still noticed how sweeeet they were. The girl reminds me of Diane Kruger from Wicker Park, and when she got up to leave the bus, she remained by the door and kept looking back and smiling at her boyfriend, and it was just like "awwwww."
And the second was this couple that I saw while eating at Jaws with my sis and the Sunshine Boy. The girl was cool, like Robin Tunney in Empire Records, with a shaved head, and the guy pretty cute too, like rugged cool. And they looked sooo cute together, standing outside, waiting for Jaws to open, and then coming in to have sushi. Awwww.
Now, those are cool couples!

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The other day I went back to kendo practice, just to pop in for a bit and say hi. And then they got me into doing warm ups with them, and I was surprised at how much I missed kendo. But then, that could be because I didn't stay long enough to get beaten up. Hahah. That will have to wait till next week.

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Marcus and I were talking the other day and he mentioned how we've come such a long way and I'm like "Yeah, come to think of it, we have known each other for pretty long."
When I moved out, he moved out as well. And now he's trawling the world again. Searching for his shrimp. Stirring up trouble again. Same old Marcus.
Sometimes, I think I should just do the whole world a favor and kill him. But then, who would be there to entertain me?
*Grins*
He's so sweet.

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Friday we went to the Beach Bash at the uni tav! And it was so fun, they had hot tubs and girls and guys in bikinis and board shorts and lots of flower leis and a band and I just liked watching everything and this friend of mine hooked up with a guy whom she didn't really like, just for the sake of hooking up, i guess, and people tried to buy cigarettes off me, and sweetrhapsody was oogling a security guard who came out of the bushes and i met this cute guy who lies a lot and we made out in front of the psychology building and exchanged numbers...and we'll see how things goes!
And on Saturday myself and the Curly Pumpkin and Little Pony took a loooong walk down the harbor and snuck into a boatyard and made our way through all these shiny white sailboats for sale and stood at the edge of a pier and looked out over the water...and when we left, we noticed the sign: Warning, Do Not Tresspass, Savage Dogs Here" or something like that and we're like "oooooh! And we just walked right in and came out unscathed!"
And today is Sunday and I slept loads and ate pizza and now I'm ready to go to bed!
Goodnight, everyone! *muaks*

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Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Sigh....what a stressful day....
First headed for my class with the postgrads...and everyone was just talking and talking and I was like "Ack! Everything sounds so intelligent and insightful!" Luckily the other guy sitting next to me looked just as lost as I felt...
And there was this huge guy sitting behind me and for some reason he just kept pushing his desk forward so it was straining at my chair and i was practically squashed between his and my chair...and i'm like "what the hell! There's plenty of space behind you!" and he kept breathing heavily and had B.O. and I'm like "aaaargh!" and leaning forward as far as I could go...
And i was pretty sleepy because I hardly had any sleep the night before so I was trying not to fall asleep...and when I finally tried to contribute...I got shot down right away as my tutor goes "No, that's wrong!"
Thanks a lot!
Anyway...I go off shopping in the city with Moon Von and we met up with SweetRhapsody and Flat 8 Girl whom we should call that because I can't come up with a nick for her right now. And I had gotten my hair trimmed but I was wondering if I should go back and have it further layered and my kind-of fringe a little shorter because I was aiming for a Milla Jovovich/Mila Kunis like look. So I go back with SweetRhapsody who has her own hair cut (I directed the stylist on how to cut her hair!) and she ended up looking really pretty! But then the stylist starts on me and doesn't listen to me at all and I end up with an entirely different look from what I wanted! And I was really sad and stressed and panicky because that is how I am over my hair until I finally gaze in the mirror and realized that it's not too different from my own hair style and that I'll have fun styling it and I still look good. Yay! :) So instead of my Milla Jovovich/ Mila Kunis look I ended up with a kind of rock-chick/elvish girl/Jennifer Garner in Elektra look.
And SweetRhapsody and I went to watch Bride and Prejudice while Flat 8 Girl went to watch Constantine and Moon Von headed home. It's so corny and funny! I loved their outfits and dances.
And after the movie we headed for the bus stop where this guy and girl makes out while the guy looks at us over his girl's shoulder and this drunken guy walks up to us and starts making conversation, saying things like "Hey, lovely ladies! So you're going home now to your comfy bed? Well, while you're in your comfy bed, remember that I'm sleeping on the cold concrete floor here out in the open." And I give him the once-over, taking in the shades on his head, the unshabby clothes, the boots, and I think, "Yeah right! As if you're poor!" But I don't say anything because I don't want to encourage him to talk further. LOL.
And then we made it home at last...and we sat in the Little Pony's flat and chatted for a while while I surreptiously stole some of the Pony's, Pumpkin's and the Ninja Crisis's dee-licious salad. And then i go home and take a hot shower and finally settle down with scented candles to chill...and that's when Louise pops online to ask "Are you ready for the quiz tomorrow?"
"What QUIZ?!?" I shriek, my heartbeat count racing to a record number.
And it turns out there IS no quiz, but honestly, she shouldn't do that to me. I've had a long day! I was about to chill! There was no need to give me a heart attack.
And now, i AM going to chill. So, good night folks! Have happiness tomorrow!

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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Listening to: Goo-goo Dolls "Eyes Wide Open"
The past few days have been feeling slightly strange what with endless trips on buses and trains, movie watching under the stars, Ninja Crisis being a hermit, the Dervish being a brat, boys who think I'm from Hungary getting drunk and announcing their love for SweetRhapsody on her door, DESIs getting drunk and crying and being depressed and not giving me any drinks either, pah!, having to deal with an annoying flatmate who thinks he's trying to be witty and that's all I can think of now. It doesn't sound that strange but when you put it all together, it gives me a kind of weird feeling.
Bah.
I'm going to bed.

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Saturday, March 05, 2005

Letters to You. And you and you and you. (Third One).
I feel so much better after venting.
It's like suddenly all the pressure has left me and I feel empty inside.
A good sort of emptiness of course.
I'm so sorry, sometimes I go off on crazy tangents and I bounce from one side of my personality to the next. And you're so steady, you're so good to me, and you keep me sane and knowing what's right to wrong. What counts as right to wrong according to us, that is. :)
I miss you a lot still, and it feels good to know that you miss me a lot.
We'll always be together no matter what! No matter where the world takes us! We're the roots of the mother oak tree spreading ourselves across the world yet still connected!
Love ya guys loads. Hugz. We'll always be together. Miss ya. Love ya. Bye.

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Letters to You.
Dear...
I never mention your name here because I never want people to know your name.
I'm so jealous, me.
So what's new lately? I've been going crazy. Just a little crazy. I don't really care who reads this and this is just my way of venting but mainly this letter is just going to be for you.
I came home late tonight and I have to get up tomorrow morning early but I don't really care. I'm going to snatch the moment as it comes - take it, I mean - and fuck everything else that's going to happen.
It's a magical night tonight like it was several years ago.
I wasn't so free then, but freedom comes in different ways and in my own way I was just as free then as I am now.
We used to go look at the stars in the night sky. There are more stars in the night sky here but you couldn't reach them the way we used to back then.
I was reading about how Veruca Salt split up back a few years ago. You know how I used to love Veruca Salt? And how they broke up because Louise slept with Blake Smith who was going out with Nina who had a fling with Stacey Jones.
And it's a bit sad, because they used to be so IT and I used to love them so much and now they're broken up and gone their separate ways but it's probably better for the both of them.
And it's how like we've gone our separate ways because it's for the best but I don't care, I still miss you anyway.
I miss you like mad.
Dearest, darling.
People probably think that I'm writing to my lover but I'm not because I'm writing to you. My friend.
We'll go crazy someday again, won't we? I still go crazy sometimes now. But it's lonely going crazy by myself. I used to do that by myself but then I met you and after that, it's not the same again.
Damn you.
Miss you, love you. Bye.

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Damn I miss you.
You know how we talked about how we were always meant to live life alone and lonely and how neither of us would mind it very much?
Loneliness really is hard; I know that now.
Love ya, miss ya, bye.

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Loners on the Steps and Pseudo-Hungarian Girls Waiting for Buses.
This evening felt like one long wait for a bus. First we spent ages waiting for a bus to get into the city. Then we got to the restaurant only to find it was closing. So we got on another bus to McDonald's and after dinner, waited for ages again for another bus. Only that wait wasn't so bad because we sat on a coffin slab in the middle of the city and watched cute guys pass by in cars and let the wind play with our hair and I spouted all kinds of rubbish to the guy who still thinks I'm Hungarian. I have discovered what most con artists have known is true all along: you can get away with anything as long as you do it with lots of CONFIDENCE.
Now I must go find out all kinds of facts about Hungary in order to continue my con artist impersonation. Then I will go over to the others' flats to spout more rubbish.
Just now I passed by this guy on my way over to the Curly Pumpkin's flat. And he was just sitting on the steps, smoking and looking so like a loner. And on my way back he was there and he wasn't too bad looking so I stopped and spoke to him: "Are you some lost and abandoned person?"
And he laughed and said, "yes that's me, lost and abandoned."
"Cool," said I. Then because I was in a hurry to get home and wash all the smog off of me, I continued, "Well, I'm sure someone will find you sooner or later."
"Yes," he said, "find me sooner or later."
"Yep," said I cheerfully, "Just keep on smoking those cigarettes like you do!"
And I wished him good bye and went on my way home!
And my Elizabeth Arden nose strip smells like coffee. Shouldn't it smell like, I don't know, Ribena berries or oranges since it's supposed to be packed full of Vitamin C?

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Thursday, March 03, 2005

Hey look! I have made my blog "commentable!" Hooray!

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Damnit Janet!
Last night we watched the Rocky Horror Picture Show! My God, Susan Sarandon! It was hilarious to see how she had gotten her start in movies! And what serious roles she plays now! Hahahaha! And the Ninja Crisis fell asleep in the middle of the movie like usual!

And on a more serious note, I, SweetRhapsody, Curly Pumpkin and the My Little Pony went to watch Million Dollar Baby on Tuesday. We spent nearly an hour trying to find the cinema which all of us walked right by except for the Pony because the entrance to the cinema was like a crack in the wall. And then we finally settled down to watch the movie. And the ending WAS SO TRAGIC. I couldn't believe it ended like that! Curly Pumpkin hated the movie because of the ending. I was in shock. I think SweetRhapsody cried. It is TRULY TRAGIC. And now I understand why Million Dollar Baby beat the Aviator for the Academy Awards. I understand why Hilary Swank got the Best Actress Award and Clint Eastwood got the Best Actor Award. But I don't understand why Morgan Freeman won the Best Supporting Actor Award. He didn't do much except sat around and later knocked out a "young 'un." He had a better role in Nurse Betty. Hahah.

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The Continuation of the Coffin!
I'm not done telling all of you about my very trying day today yet!
Speaking of claustrophobia and coffins, our tripod came in this long green bag while our video cam and microphone and headphones came in this rectangular silver box which caused me to say, "Hey, doesn't that look like a body bag and a coffin?" Especially the coffin, which looked like it came out of the Rocky Horror Show.
Anyway, after the show, we all headed for lunch where an evil vending machine (yet another coffin) stole my two dollars, well, actually SweetRhapsody's, and I gave another dollar to a pirate promoting children's hospital charity because he was much friendlier then the Minnie Mouse.
Then I went off to the bank to grab a cheque for my uni fees, where I spent not one, but TWO hours waiting at the bank! I stared at the TV screen for ages until my eyeballs were ready to pop up from constantly rolling upwards. They played the lousiest R.E.M. songs. But then they played old Cranberries songs which always reminds me of my primary school days so yay. Then they finally called my number. Then, after grabbing my cheque and sobbing over what little is left in my bank account, I spent another half an hour waiting in the line at the student services office. Aaaaaaargh! I was never so glad to finally get out. I wanted to throw myself on the huge grassy square by the JC gallery and just stare at the blue sky. But I was thirsty so I dragged myself home.
And just as I had almost reached the safety of my flat, the danger wasn't over yet! I got ambushed by a crowd of DESIs swarming from the side of my vision all too suddenly! I tried to skirt around them and run off unnoticed but Shuddup saw me and started doing some monkey imitation to get my attention and then they were suddenly all around me and some other guy starts shouting, "Hey, it's Hungary! It's the Hungary Chick!" I don't remember him but he must be one of the guys whom I was telling outrageous lies to at the tav the other day when we were all semi-drunk. I said I was from Hungary and half-gypsy. They asked me to say something in Hungarian. Figuring they don't know hungarian themselves I spouted some rubbish confidently. Then they asked me what was the capital of Hungary. I didn't know it was Budapest so I pretended not to hear them and ran off after a jug of beer.
Anyway I quickly and skillfully entangled myself from the swarm of DESIs and, still in a daze, made my way to my flat. And here I am, recuperating and, hopefully, with all my facilities intact!

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If I Kill You...Would You Still Love Me?
I feel totally exhausted and claustrophobic! Like as if someone just stuffed me in a box and buried me alive and I've just spend the last few hours banging my head against the walls until someone finally let me out. And still recuperating.
Dragged myself out of bed at nine thirty and arrived in uni to suffocate in some totally stuffy room while some middle aged guy with long blonde hair shows us how to operate a video camera. It was fun, but trust me, it is no fun. After staring at a small screen for ages, on my feet with no breakfast and surrounded by people all around my elbows, I look up and realize that there are no windows, the door is closed, the ceiling is very, very close and completely padded, I start sweating, I start to feel the beginnings of hyperventilation, and very, very close to fainting. Not the happy fainting kind where I feel like I'm going to float across the room and fall asleep before I hit the floor, but the kind where I feel like I'm in a cramped coffin and the walls are rapidly closing in on me. I tried to focus on the camera but it was too much and I raced out, almost knocking the Curly Pumpkin who looked like a totally adorable little schoolgirl in her white socks and loafers and denim skirt today as she came into the room. Then I spend the next five minutes with my head between my knees while sitting on the grassy knoll outside the education building before going back to the stuffy room. Then, ten minutes later, I felt like I might just kill myself again. When the tutor suggested a group of us go outside to experiment with the video cam I was the first to second his idea.
And it was sooo much better outside and I got to be on camera while Louise interviewed me about the "friend abuse" which SweetRhapsody has always inflicted on me and I made a really good kind supportive victimized friend while SweetRhapsody glowered at me behind the camera. Then it was SweetRhapsody's turn to be interviewed and give her side of the story but nobody believed her and so we have her as the guilty one on tape!
But next week I think the entire class is using our tape to experiment with editing! And my face will be on screen for everyone to see! Aaaargh! Noooo!

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So far this week of classes haven't been too bad! I finally made up my mind and went for the tutorial with the post grads - but guess what? the first person I saw when I walked into that class was the cute goth guy. But I don't know if he's staying in that class. Stay, cute goth guy, don't go!
I have just realized how much I missed Potatos. It's boring to be growing up. The both of us were talking about that on the night before I left. What happened to all the crazy days where we would cut class and run around the streets at night and sit on rooftops and smoke? My friends here at EUH are fun but no one's like Potatos and me. We do the stupidest things together; we're like GTO or something. Especially when we were in high school.

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From the looks of it, people aren't paying enough attention! I can tell from my web counter that people DO visit this place, but they're not leaving any comments in the tagboard! Bah!
Well, if you're not going to write something in the tagboard, at least visit my website, Darkschunt, just enter the portal over in the sidebar. Thanks *kisses*
I just took a peek into my MySpace account just now, I hadn't looked into it since, like, over a year or something. Hahaha. And I just realized that there is this cute guy on my friends page that I totally forgot I had added. But he has tons of girls on his page, it's like he randomly adds girls or something. And they're all into him or something because of his good-looking pictures. Actually, I think he only looks good in two or three pictures. Hahaha. I should go say hi to him or something. But then I'll just become one of many girls. And lose my aloof stoner status. LOL.

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