Darkschunt 
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Saturday was the eve of Chinese New Year! Spent most of the day comatose in bed, only waking up to head over to the usual annual family potluck. The weather was hot, hot, hot, but not as hot as I'd expected it to be, seeing that every Chinese New Year in Malaysia inevitably arrives with steaming hot weather.
On Sunday we headed to Ipoh to visit the relatives on Mom's side. We didn't visit too many houses this year, and hardly anyone was around because a bunch of them had taken off to visit Turkey and some other place. It wasn't much of a festive Chinese New Year this year, what with half of the relatives gone on vacation (and relatives missing on Saturday too, because one of my cousins had been admitted into hospital for food poisoning and her family had been obliged to accompany her and also most of us ended up heading home early). Also, we're still in mourning for Grandma this year so none of us had planned to make it into a big celebration thing and it was kind of sad on Sunday, especially at lunch, because I looked around at the table and it just felt so strange not to see her sitting at the table, and not being able to catch her eye and have us just smile at each other across the table. I really missed her then, and felt the loss of her presence then. It was so sad. I mentioned it to my mom later that afternoon as we were looking at old pictures that my great-aunt had dug up of old family reunions and my mom had been pointing out my grandmother in the pictures. "It just doesn't feel the same with out her," I said. "I know," she said, and I kind of regretted opening my big mouth and voicing out what she was no doubt feeling at the same time. But it was also good in a way for each of us to know that there was someone else who felt her loss just as much on this Chinese New Year.
On Sunday we headed to Ipoh to visit the relatives on Mom's side. We didn't visit too many houses this year, and hardly anyone was around because a bunch of them had taken off to visit Turkey and some other place. It wasn't much of a festive Chinese New Year this year, what with half of the relatives gone on vacation (and relatives missing on Saturday too, because one of my cousins had been admitted into hospital for food poisoning and her family had been obliged to accompany her and also most of us ended up heading home early). Also, we're still in mourning for Grandma this year so none of us had planned to make it into a big celebration thing and it was kind of sad on Sunday, especially at lunch, because I looked around at the table and it just felt so strange not to see her sitting at the table, and not being able to catch her eye and have us just smile at each other across the table. I really missed her then, and felt the loss of her presence then. It was so sad. I mentioned it to my mom later that afternoon as we were looking at old pictures that my great-aunt had dug up of old family reunions and my mom had been pointing out my grandmother in the pictures. "It just doesn't feel the same with out her," I said. "I know," she said, and I kind of regretted opening my big mouth and voicing out what she was no doubt feeling at the same time. But it was also good in a way for each of us to know that there was someone else who felt her loss just as much on this Chinese New Year.
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