Darkschunt

Ever feel like you need to take some time off from the rest of the world? I've been feeling it for a while now. I'm feeling like I'm a little burnt by the world and need to take some time off and just sit and think and be by myself for a bit. Like... all of a sudden, things aren't what you were expecting them to be, and more than one person has hurt you, however much they didn't intend to and probably never knew they had, and you're just feeling a little dazed and disoriented and despondent and you're not too sure of who the people you know are anymore or how they see you or even who you are anymore or in which direction you're headed. And the moment you think you've got your head screwed back on, somebody comes along and, almost nonchalantly, almost with complete ease, just lifts it off your neck again, gives it a good spin, and boots it like a football in every which direction until you haven't the faintest clue which direction you were heading in anymore. Am I being too sensitive? you ask yourself. Maybe you am, maybe what's wrong is what's wrong with you, not anybody else, who knows, who can tell, what the fuck are all these voices shouting in my head? And that's also when you feel upset, you feel like you wanna have a good cry, you just feel like - bam, wham, what the fuck's going on, what the hell's happening, doesn't anyone understand me anymore, I'm just a good person trying to get along in life just like the rest of you are.
So that's why I'm taking some time off right now. Avoid the world. Try to get my head screwed back on again, and with some extra cellotape too, so that it won't be lifted off that easily again. Right now it would be nice to just walk off on some street where no one knows you, just sit in a corner somewhere and watch the world pass you by, have a nice iced lemon tea, read a good book, write some really bad poetry, listen to the music you like without caring what other people think about it, have a long nice good think, just be as yourself as you want to be.
But it's not that easy in the real world, and it's not that easy to disappear off for a while. Just today, I thought I got my head screwed on again, and I was happy, I thought I was myself, I thought I could handle everything, and bam everything was suddenly screwed and I felt just about every upsetting emotion there is to feel.
Jeez. Maybe I'm in a depression period. I should check my horoscope stars.
Well, nothing gets me down for long. :) See, even before I finished my rant, I feel tons better. But, hey, it's good to write it down too, and what is a blog good for if not for a good rant, even though I'm always complaining about other people who rant on and on about their sorry selves in a blog. Hey, there's a new day tomorrow, heads can always be screwed back on, and don't forget to take that nice long solitary walk.