Darkschunt 
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Shop Music: "Pain" by Jimmy Eat World, "Look What You've Done" by Jet, "I Dare You to Move" by Switchfoot.
Dentists are Scary People.
I went to the dentist last weekend. He was very mean and put all kinds of sharp objects in my mouth and, not satisfied with the amount of torture he subjected me to, is forcing me to come back next week so he can torture me further. And he is making me pay absurd amounts of cash for this torture.
His little daughter runs around the office and stares at me as I lie on the torture chair. I think she likes me because of my hair color, but it may be that she is also be fascinated by the torture devices her father uses on innocent young women like myself. Oh, what terrible influences young children are subjected to these days!
As I was lying there on the seat with the light flashing into my eyes and his rubber-gloved fingers in my mouth, listening to him talk about calluses or whatever to me as if I was his daughter's age and needed to be humored by a joke about how calluses are not to be mistaken with school calculus (torturers have very strange senses of humor), I just had this sudden urge to clamp down my teeth and bite his fingers. And the urge continued throughout the entire session. I have no idea how I managed to restrain myself. I wonder what he would have done if I had really bit him. I'm guessing it's not a good idea to bite your dentist. Not unless you were planning to switch to a new dentist.
And you know, whenever I think about dentists, I think about the Crazed Dentist from Adelaide who is not yet a dentist but still tudying to be one and whom I dedicated the limerick about novocaine to, and I think, God, I will never let her get near me with any of those dentist tool things. Hahaha!
Dentists are Scary People.
I went to the dentist last weekend. He was very mean and put all kinds of sharp objects in my mouth and, not satisfied with the amount of torture he subjected me to, is forcing me to come back next week so he can torture me further. And he is making me pay absurd amounts of cash for this torture.
His little daughter runs around the office and stares at me as I lie on the torture chair. I think she likes me because of my hair color, but it may be that she is also be fascinated by the torture devices her father uses on innocent young women like myself. Oh, what terrible influences young children are subjected to these days!
As I was lying there on the seat with the light flashing into my eyes and his rubber-gloved fingers in my mouth, listening to him talk about calluses or whatever to me as if I was his daughter's age and needed to be humored by a joke about how calluses are not to be mistaken with school calculus (torturers have very strange senses of humor), I just had this sudden urge to clamp down my teeth and bite his fingers. And the urge continued throughout the entire session. I have no idea how I managed to restrain myself. I wonder what he would have done if I had really bit him. I'm guessing it's not a good idea to bite your dentist. Not unless you were planning to switch to a new dentist.
And you know, whenever I think about dentists, I think about the Crazed Dentist from Adelaide who is not yet a dentist but still tudying to be one and whom I dedicated the limerick about novocaine to, and I think, God, I will never let her get near me with any of those dentist tool things. Hahaha!
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