Darkschunt 
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Well, it's been busy busy busy week for me...and i've just unloaded a whole bunch of assigments - aaaaargh! presentation! made a fool of myself again! i hate it when i do that! - and i've got a slight fever which i am nursing tonight with hot water and panandol and my kendo grading/competition is next week and ooooh! joy of ricerca!/screaming sour/sourbuckley livejournal is heeeere right heeeere in this little sleep isolated city!!!!!!!! yep, she flew all the way down here and we are so happy to have her here and smoke and drink and bitch with her!
and hello marcus who messaged me on the tagboard! wow- someone has finally woken up to the twentieth century and its' technology! yes, i wish you could have a little of my blood now, but only just a little, because i'm still sick and kind of weak at the moment!
And S's bf, the Chili Gangster is here too! So - yay! It's a regular pow wow!
And....i'm just wondering...am i a social pariah????!????? i mean like, not entirely one, but....like, i jsut find it SO hard to talk with some ppl....it just guts me....i know i have nothing to be afraid of or intimidated by and all that...but sometimes...and i get on just blimmingly well with some ppl....so well, that when i tell them about this problem of mine, they go "u? shy?" and snort and laugh, but it's truuueeee! and i don't know what's wrong with me! i just start mumbling and sounding like a real idiot and can't think of a thing to say, and it often happens with certain ppl and i just don't know what to do about it! i can feel perfectly confident and like i have nothing to be afraid of in the world and then sit down next to them and start mumbling....and they get this look on their face like "urgh, i'm talking to an idiot" and i get even worse....and then...well, let's just say it all goes downhill from there.
Grrrr! It just pisses me off so. If it weren't for that problem, i'd be a perfect social dragonfly by now. Instead, I'm only semi or half a social dragonfly. Gaaaah!
And i don't know what sets it off, i honestly don't. I've tried analyzing, i've tried to figure it out, but the fact is i can just get on SO well with some ppl and so UNWELL with some others. And, what is the problem here??????????????
*Sigh* I honestly have no idea. Can someone please help me figure this out???
and hello marcus who messaged me on the tagboard! wow- someone has finally woken up to the twentieth century and its' technology! yes, i wish you could have a little of my blood now, but only just a little, because i'm still sick and kind of weak at the moment!
And S's bf, the Chili Gangster is here too! So - yay! It's a regular pow wow!
And....i'm just wondering...am i a social pariah????!????? i mean like, not entirely one, but....like, i jsut find it SO hard to talk with some ppl....it just guts me....i know i have nothing to be afraid of or intimidated by and all that...but sometimes...and i get on just blimmingly well with some ppl....so well, that when i tell them about this problem of mine, they go "u? shy?" and snort and laugh, but it's truuueeee! and i don't know what's wrong with me! i just start mumbling and sounding like a real idiot and can't think of a thing to say, and it often happens with certain ppl and i just don't know what to do about it! i can feel perfectly confident and like i have nothing to be afraid of in the world and then sit down next to them and start mumbling....and they get this look on their face like "urgh, i'm talking to an idiot" and i get even worse....and then...well, let's just say it all goes downhill from there.
Grrrr! It just pisses me off so. If it weren't for that problem, i'd be a perfect social dragonfly by now. Instead, I'm only semi or half a social dragonfly. Gaaaah!
And i don't know what sets it off, i honestly don't. I've tried analyzing, i've tried to figure it out, but the fact is i can just get on SO well with some ppl and so UNWELL with some others. And, what is the problem here??????????????
*Sigh* I honestly have no idea. Can someone please help me figure this out???
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