Darkschunt

Well...celebrated my birthday last night with baccardi, jack daniels, johnny walker and a whole lot of other miscellaneous bottles and all my friends...
I never thought I'd have a proper celebration and all this year but it turned out to be pretty big...
I think i got kind of drunk and did all sorts of things which I don't remember...
And when my friends tell me about them, I'd rather not remember...
I've just realized how many friends I've made since I came here at the beginning of the year...which is nice...I never thought I had so many friends until now...
And when I finally woke up and recovered from my hangover, I was unwrapping presents...everyone knew what to buy for me - red candles, red candle holders, red earrings :D and I was reading all the birthday card messages and I just felt so touched...
Lots of things happening last night...some people were seriously flirting with others, i heard, and others were sitting in the corner just observing everything...lol...s doesn't drink so i got her soft drinks and she sits in the corner with k and watches everything so she could fill me in on what I forgot the next day...
Well, that's pretty much it. So I'm 20 and it kind of sucks to be this age which I never wanted to be and I have this sense of directionless because I only ever lived to be, at the oldest, nineteen.
So what now?
That's what I ask as I sit here in my dark room with my candles burning. One of the candleholders, given to me by s and k, which looks like a gazebo covered with a curtain of red beads, is sending up starburst patterns over the ceiling and reminds me of the old times when we had ceremonial burnings and witch dances.
Only time will tell...