Darkschunt 
Friday, June 25, 2004
Since i am in no mood to sleep and i think that drinking too much cranberry juice has turned me into an even more vicious bitch than usual, i shall now proceed to give my thoughts on COWS.
Cows are good. Cows are useful. Cows are sweet. As long as they don't eat up the cinema in your town.
Do you know just how interesting cows are? More interesting than you, trust me.
Cows are so useful. They give us milk, lots of milk, with calsium that prevents us from getting OSTEOPOROSIS. and milk gives us BUTTER and CREAM and CHOCOLATES, which prevents a lot of girls (and bitchy guys and even bitchier gay guys)from suffering during PMS and MENOPAUSE. (Oh, don't even get me started on guys with PMS, trust me, some guys - and a ton of gay guys for that matter - are sooo bitchy, you'd think they were menopausing twenty four seven).
And they (cows, not guys or gay guys) give us meat, LOTS of MEAT, and lots of GOOD STEAK. And cows are so useful for butchering in sacrifices. Look at all that blood! And you can just randomly stab your sacrificial knife all over the place without looking - trust me, with a target that big on the altar, you won't miss it!
And for all those horny sluts who can't get enuff sheep and horses, you can try screwing a cow instead! look! it's so big! look at all the tits! They're better than Pamela Anderson!
Cows are also FUN. When you go on long car trips and being stuck for five hours in a cramped little car with ur annoying bitchy family n frens what else can divert u from turning homicidal but COWS on the roadside? "wow, look a brown cow! now a black one! look, fat cows! anorexic cows!" and look at all the fun cows give us when we tip them over on one side!
No wonder the hindhus and buddhists worship cows.
And cows don't care if they're fat! they've got a positive body image! the fatter, the better! look at all those tits! whooaa!
And cows are so famous n popular. just look at Cow n Chicken, the Cow that Jumped over the Moon, and Justine Timberlake.
Cows also provide us with many FUN activities, like Jumping Over Cows, Milking Cows, and Hitting Bull's Eyes on Cows. And don't forget that cows give us LEATHER and nice fur rugs.
And remember, you're much more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark. At least that's what libra tampon companies want you to believe.
Also:
Cows are VEGETARIANS. They're PEACEFUL. They don't Kill. And cows are yellow, black, brown, and white, so they're even MULTI-RACIAL. Which means they'll get along well with troubled people like EMINEM or MICHAEL JACKSON. And don't you just FEEL that cows emanate such a sense of GREAT PEACE? Look at their big brown COW EYES and don't tell me you don't feel like slipping into a coma.
And when cows poop all over big green fields, their dung turns the land green and lush, which gives us a GREAT BEAUTIFUL ENVIRONMENT, plus their dung also gives us pretty little yellow flowers (those cowdung watchamacallit flowers thatlook like daisies). Now, what animal poop gives us flowers? Even humans can't do that.
This is just one of the few reasons why cows are just so fucking UNBELIEVABLE. They're much more interesting than skinny whores like gwyneth palthrow (sorry, kelvin.)
So get with the program! cows are beautiful, desirable, wonderful creatures! everyone should love cows! So long as they don't eat up the cinema in the dead town you are currently living in! Go cows! Go adopt a cow! Go to your local RSPCA and tell them you want one right now! Quickly, before a cow bangs you!
Cows are good. Cows are useful. Cows are sweet. As long as they don't eat up the cinema in your town.
Do you know just how interesting cows are? More interesting than you, trust me.
Cows are so useful. They give us milk, lots of milk, with calsium that prevents us from getting OSTEOPOROSIS. and milk gives us BUTTER and CREAM and CHOCOLATES, which prevents a lot of girls (and bitchy guys and even bitchier gay guys)from suffering during PMS and MENOPAUSE. (Oh, don't even get me started on guys with PMS, trust me, some guys - and a ton of gay guys for that matter - are sooo bitchy, you'd think they were menopausing twenty four seven).
And they (cows, not guys or gay guys) give us meat, LOTS of MEAT, and lots of GOOD STEAK. And cows are so useful for butchering in sacrifices. Look at all that blood! And you can just randomly stab your sacrificial knife all over the place without looking - trust me, with a target that big on the altar, you won't miss it!
And for all those horny sluts who can't get enuff sheep and horses, you can try screwing a cow instead! look! it's so big! look at all the tits! They're better than Pamela Anderson!
Cows are also FUN. When you go on long car trips and being stuck for five hours in a cramped little car with ur annoying bitchy family n frens what else can divert u from turning homicidal but COWS on the roadside? "wow, look a brown cow! now a black one! look, fat cows! anorexic cows!" and look at all the fun cows give us when we tip them over on one side!
No wonder the hindhus and buddhists worship cows.
And cows don't care if they're fat! they've got a positive body image! the fatter, the better! look at all those tits! whooaa!
And cows are so famous n popular. just look at Cow n Chicken, the Cow that Jumped over the Moon, and Justine Timberlake.
Cows also provide us with many FUN activities, like Jumping Over Cows, Milking Cows, and Hitting Bull's Eyes on Cows. And don't forget that cows give us LEATHER and nice fur rugs.
And remember, you're much more likely to get attacked by a cow than a shark. At least that's what libra tampon companies want you to believe.
Also:
Cows are VEGETARIANS. They're PEACEFUL. They don't Kill. And cows are yellow, black, brown, and white, so they're even MULTI-RACIAL. Which means they'll get along well with troubled people like EMINEM or MICHAEL JACKSON. And don't you just FEEL that cows emanate such a sense of GREAT PEACE? Look at their big brown COW EYES and don't tell me you don't feel like slipping into a coma.
And when cows poop all over big green fields, their dung turns the land green and lush, which gives us a GREAT BEAUTIFUL ENVIRONMENT, plus their dung also gives us pretty little yellow flowers (those cowdung watchamacallit flowers thatlook like daisies). Now, what animal poop gives us flowers? Even humans can't do that.
This is just one of the few reasons why cows are just so fucking UNBELIEVABLE. They're much more interesting than skinny whores like gwyneth palthrow (sorry, kelvin.)
So get with the program! cows are beautiful, desirable, wonderful creatures! everyone should love cows! So long as they don't eat up the cinema in the dead town you are currently living in! Go cows! Go adopt a cow! Go to your local RSPCA and tell them you want one right now! Quickly, before a cow bangs you!
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